THEORAT
Theoretical Learnings of Experiment for Make Benefit of Glorious
Laboratory of CERNistan
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CERNistan greatest laboratory in the world.
All other laboratories run by little girls.
CERNistan number one exporter of Polonium.
Other laboratories have inferior Polonium.
CERNistan home of greatest cafeteria tent in the world.
Its length 40 metres and its width 30 metres.
Its filtration system a wonder to behold.
Water safe to drink since last summer.
The Prayer:
Our Witten, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Nobel come,
Thy will be done,
In CERN as it is in the US.
Give us this day our daily string,
And forgive us our theory,
As we forgive those who do phenomenology.
Lead us not into experiment,
And deliver us from tests.
For thine is the arXiv,
Hep-th and math-AG,
For ever and ever,
Amen
Final chorus:
CERNistan, CERNistan you very nice place.
From cavern of ATLAS to northern fence of Point 5.
CERNistan friend of all except Fermistan.
They very noisy people with Higgs on their brain.
CERNistan laboratory best in the world.
We invented triangle anomaly and supersymmetry.
CERNistan’s experimentalists greatest in the world,
Except of course for DESYstan’s.
CERNistan, CERNistan, you very nice place.
From cavern of ATLAS to northern fence of Point 5.
Come praise the mighty genius of our leader,
From his QRL to the top of his theory unit!